If you've been following us for any amount of time, you will probably have noticed that we're into using metaphors as a way of explaining complex issues? Well, we're at it again to explain how easy it is to let your past dictate your future.
Who we are can be thought of as living in our own personal house. For me, my mind is my ‘Suzie House’. In my Suzie House, I house my:
- identity; and
- beliefs and values,
which indirectly affect the skills I learn and the behaviours I exhibit both of which feed in to and create the type of environment I live in.
As children, we have no intentional or conscious input into the making of our personal house. My Susie House was built from my parents' environment. If you came from a dysfunctional home, as I did, then - like me - in order to cope and survive in this hostile environment you may have put up defences by behaving in certain ways and learning certain skills in order to be able to function as normally as possible.
Similarly, our parental environment (including our interactions with parents and siblings) has a direct influence in how our own 'houses' are built. For most of us - and I know it was true of myself - as an adult, we discover that a house built on this kind of foundation is wonky and a little unstable. The foundation is crooked, the walls aren't straight - everything just seems off.
I, like many other people, blamed my childhood for all the problems I faced as an adult. The wonkiness as an adult came because of the foundations laid down in childhood including: low self-esteem, self-doubt, and the belief that I wasn’t good enough - everything that our critical inner voice shouts at us.
This is where we tend to get stuck in the past. Those things that your nagging inner voice is telling you, come from your wonky childhood house and no long serve you well as a functioning adult. It was useful and necessary as a survival tactic for yourself as a child but now it is doing more harm than good. We get stuck trying to fix up a wonky house when what we should do is take control and make a firm decision to bulldoze the old house down and build a new house with an intentional design. By doing this, we can respond to our adult requirements and take positive action and build a new house that will serve us well into the future.
So where do we begin? We start with identifying our purpose, creating our unique identity of who we want to be and be seen to be. We want to upgrade our beliefs and values and delete all the negative limiting beliefs, replacing them with positive ones that serve us. This will then dictate what new skills and capabilities we need to learn, which will in turn influence our behaviour. Then we can have the environment we dream about.
In deciding to build our new house to our own design, we can look to the future we want and put all our energies into making it great!!
If you need help rebuilding your house on firmer foundations, call Sue today on 0439 294 532 for your FREE 15 minute consultation.
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